Duke Ellington and Louis Armstrong

Singapore Airlines flew the first commercial A380 flight today. If you take five minutes today and go to any news site, you see an article about it. I am not sure if it is a coincidence or just one of those funny occurrences of life but this past week I have been thinking a lot about my dad. My dad was a pilot his whole life. So pretty much from the time I was conceived I have been in and out of planes. I just think that if he could have flown on the A380 he would have loved it.

My dad died 2 years 8 months and 28 days ago. So many things happened at that time that I didn’t get to grieve properly. So this past year I have been able to start my grieving process. My relationship with him was unique in many ways. He was 51 years older than I was, so as you can imagine there were a few generational gaps we had to cope with. And there were many times that him and I did not see eye to eye. But beyond all of the arguments and my rebel teenage years, he taught me so much. He taught me about life and passion, and about goals. About how to be a better person everyday. About how one can make a difference, even if it is a small difference. About how to enjoy life. About cars and planes and how fun they could be. About speed and just recklessness and how they are acceptable from time to time. He forced me to have my first glass of wine when I was 4 years old. He also forced me to have my first scotch when I was 6 years old. He wanted me to grow up knowing, he did not want to deprive me of anything. So many times I did not understand his reactions or his actions, but now that I am getting a little wiser and older I have begun to understand.

He taught me about Jazz. Hmmmm…he introduced me to the Duke, Count Basie, Louis Armstrong, John Coltrane, Oscar Peterson, Miles Davis, Arturo Sandoval, Dizzy Guillespie among others. For hours all we would hear in my house will be Jazz. He taught me to appreciate and to love complicated melodies that will fill your soul. I remember I would sometimes get some of his CDs and play them and then he would join me. We would listen to Duke for hours. He will just listen and appreciate while I danced my way away. I wish I could take him to a concert now. I wish I could show him how much I appreciate his teachings.

I once read an article about Gwyneth Paltrow and she mentioned how important it was to go to Paris for the very first time with the one man who would always love you the most. Your father. I am happy that my dad took me to the city of love for the first time. It was such a special trip and Paris will never be the same without him there.

I just miss him. Today is rainy here in Rhode Island. The sky is overcast. And as I look outside my window, I know he is out there watching over me. Papi te extraño de verdad que si…I wish you were here still for me…