Discovering No More Games

I have been silent these past few weeks. It has been hard to write. Going through a lot emotionally and just do not want to spill my insides to the whole world. Changes happen. People change. Progress happens. And sometimes it’s hard to deal with it. But 10 years have gone by and Portishead is finally releasing a new album. I have been scattering away trying to find any leaked songs on the internet…YouTube is great…

My favorite band has definitely evolved. To places that maybe are a bit darker than before. Can you even fathom that? Confusion, desperation, sadness…this record revolves around all of those feelings and more. But it is honest. It’s a bit rawer. More guitar riffs, more drums, more of Beth’s voice mixed with an eclectic sounds of synthesizers and mixed melodies. It is smart and witty and just all out extremely deep. Hard to comprehend like always, but if you cut to the chase it is masterful. I have not listened to the whole thing yet, but as soon as the album comes out on April 28th I will make sure to run and be the first to buy it (not to mention that I am going to the concert in 2 weeks in good ol’London). And I will listen to it probably for months straight.

What I see and hear in Beth’s voice, is maybe a bit of myself. So much has changed, progressed, converged and metaphorsized in the past 10 years. It has been 10 years since I graduated high school…hmmm…so much learned. And I guess that is why I am at a point, where finally I am getting comfortable. This is it. This is me, now. There have been some good years and some really shitty ones. But here I am. Me. I’m sorry for all of my mistakes. But I have learned from them. I do not want to play games anymore. I do not want to deceive anymore. Take it. Like “Third”. You either love or hate it or learn to appreciate it. But it is just Third. And I am just me.

 

Discovering Racial Profiling

Yesterday, Governor Don Carcieri signed an executive order in Rhode Island “requiring state police and prison officials to identify immigration violators in state custody and report them to federal authorities for possible deportation.” Meaning, if I get pulled over for speeding, and with my obviously really Latin name, I will need to prove on the spot my “immigration status” if not my behind will get deported back to Colombia. First of all, how many of you out there carry your birth certificate, passport or certificate of naturalization with you at all times??? Truly honestly…how many??? Because, I will take a wild guess that most of you do not carry those documents with you.

So, I am a law abiding citizen, who is a citizen of this great country and now I could get taken in to some god awful place for interrogation until “they” feel like they could release me from “prison” or confinement or whatever else because I was able to prove my citizenship. Yeah, I don’t see Mr. John Smith having to go through that, yet his ancestors are not “American” either. This country does not have a race, does not have an “official language”, does not have any of those things. This is not Germany or France. This is the United States of America. Where Europeans fearing religious persecution fled to, I am sure if you had to prove your citizenship back then John Smith, you wouldn’t be that thrilled either.
On the other side of the coin, I understand their point of view. The US wants to tackle illegal immigration and I get that. I do not think building bigger walls on the border is going to solve the problem though. But the system that is currently in place is not working—obviously!!! First off, the US should join the ranks of most other countries in the world and issue federal IDs and not leave it up to the states. Your license should not be your identification. Point blank. Some other ID card that proves your citizenship and could only be issued at one location by the federal government. AND EVERYONE WETHER JOHN SMITH OR PEPITA PEREZ SHOULD HAVE TO CARRY IT WITH THEM AT ALL TIMES. Additionally, the US and Europe should realize that with a global society, immigration shifts occur. Europe is facing the same problem with Africans, Turks and all sorts of other nationalities. We talk about being a global society, well let’s become one for real. Because no longer is it about being German or French, but about being a person, who works hard and earns his/her keep in an honest manner. So let’s come up with a plan that works. Provisional work permits, so people could work in other countries is a start. I agree everyone has to pay taxes. There are no free lunches…but has anyone thought we could benefit from these immigrants…it might be news to people but immigrants are also human beings.

So why not have a free flowing society, where work permits are issued, everyone pays taxes and everyone works. If you do something illegal, you get deported. But truly let it be a society where competition and market driven initiatives force growth, so everyone is compelled to be working and producing and not just sitting on their hiney because they know that they can’t get fired. Maybe that will drive productivity up, worldwide…hmmm…I wonder what economic impact that will have…

People be progressive…think ahead of the times…I know control is a power issue…but maybe a little change wouldn’t be that bad of a thing…

(PS. I went to see the new Dr. Seuss movie last night and the moral of the movie was that everyone is a person no matter how small they are…see even Dr. Seuss got it…we are a human race above any nationality)

 

Discovering Time…

I have been absent from my blog for a while now and I am sorry. Truly life has taken a spin and I have been quite the busy bee.

But in these past weeks, one recurring theme that keeps coming up is the importance of time. I am Latin and by definition I generally run late all the time, especially for social events (just ask my friends). In work related matters I am pretty good about keeping deadlines, but even that lately has been slipping through the cracks. I get bombarded all the time with extra things to do and extra things to take care of. And by the end of the day I am so tired that all I want to do is just fall on my bed and forget the day ever existed.

Well that stops today!!! The problem is that I need to prioritize things a bit better and with all of this I might have to pull some really long hours at work. Which is fine, I just have to make it to the gym as well, because I noticed this past weekend I am expanding sideways again.

A while back, I had an organizational coach tell me that one way to organize your day’s activities is by creating three lists. An A-list, B-list and C-list. The A-list is for all the things that you have to do on that day. B-list things are things that are important, but if they do not get done today the world will not cease to exist. And C-list is more for projects that you have coming up or what not. I made my adaptation to this set up. My A-list is all the things that I have to do on that day, my B-list is for all my ongoing projects. And last but not least my C-list is for all my personal things. It has worked so far, I just need to keep it up everyday. What I have to figure out is the following: I need to schedule some time for daily unforeseen events, and I need to find some sort of encouragement for those days I do not feel like doing anything at all…if any of you have any suggestions…they are more than welcomed….

I am so glad to be back…miss all of you so much…have a happy Monday!!!

 

Discovering a year…

A year ago today I jumped on a plane and moved to Rhode Island. A year ago today, I left my heart in Los Angeles. A year ago today I lost the one who I loved the most.

Was this a good move? I do not know. I still have my doubts. Professionally it has been okay. Personally it has been a disaster. All say is for the best, but truly the best hasn’t happened yet. I am hoping next year is better. I hope next year is a bit fuller of hope, and a bit fuller of joy.

 

Discovering Religion…

Yesterday Economist.com published a great article titled “In search of Dialogue: How to get Muslims and Jews talking?” This post is not about religion, but it is about dialogue. The article is reporting that this week in Cambridge, Britain, an open letter from leading Muslim scholars to the Jewish community was unveiled. The purpose of the letter is to conduct an open dialogue between leading scholars of both faiths. Any who, for every article that is posted on Economist.com, there is a section where readers can comment about the articles. The comments, in my humble opinion, have been way more interesting that the article itself.

Readers from around the world are commenting about the differences and similarities between Judaism, Islam and Christendom and how they have affected, offended and insulted each other.

If the world was all exactly the same, if every person was exactly the same as every other person it would be a very boring world. I have friends who are Jewish, Christian and Muslim and I love them all equally the same. For who they are, not for their religion. I think people have the personal choice and right to choose what religion they want to belong to and no one should object to that. Now, how we relate to each other, does not have to be about how our religions relate to each other.

PUSH. PUSH. PUSH. I think the problem lies in the word PUSH. We push our believes on everyone else. Jews on Muslims, Muslims on Jews, Christians on Jews, Jews on Christians, Muslims on Christians and Christians on Muslims. We need to stop pushing!!! I feel sometimes the U.S. tries to push “democracy” on the whole world (and maybe with that some Christian values as well) and we have to understand that not everyone likes to live in a democratic world and not every one wants to be Christian. And that goes for all religions. In a way terrorism, is a method used by a seldom few to force or to make others see that they won’t succumb to Christianity, democracy or so called “Western” values. And that is fine. We need to be able to talk to each other and do business together, and have dinners together and laugh together. We do not need to go to church/temple/mosque together. Educated people are everywhere. Well, let’s be educated and deal with each other as civil citizens of humanity (which we all are) and stop pushing and hating each other. You pray to whomever, respect me and let’s have a great meal and talk about the weather…

 

Para mi Amiga…

“Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.”
–King Whitney Jr.

“May this new chapter in your life be full of wonderful discoveries…I know in my heart you will only grow to be a stronger more beautiful woman than what you are already are…Buena Suerte Amiga!!!

 

Discovering Self-Preservation…

A very good friend of mine and I were having a discussion yesterday about self-preservation in relationships. Now, what do I mean by self-preservation? That selfish feeling you have to protect yourself from others in order to avoid being emotionally hurt. What are the consequences of self-preservation? Hmm…I could name a few such as:

1. You keep your heart closed to others, that way you never seem to get too hurt because you really do not feel that much for them
2. You end up alone, but this feeling of solitude is acceptable since the trade off its just a life of instant gratification
3. Ultimately, you possess a feeling of superiority due to this separation from everyone which makes you seem arrogant

Point is that you keep everyone at an arm’s distance so you don’t get hurt. But I ask, are we really that screwed up as a society that we need to keep everyone away because we are so scared to let anyone in? Geez, it is annoying. Is as if everyone past the age of 22 had some deep emotional issues they don’t want to open themselves to the possibility of friendship or love. What is the big deal if you commit to someone? If it doesn’t work out then you break up. Yes, it hurts, but you won’t die and you will live. Live a life of passion and full of love…

Being from South America I guess that is one of the things that I miss the most. Every time I go back, I always find how people are just so giving. They give you directions, or they give you a plate of food, or they give you a couch to crash on for the night or they give you their heart. They are just so giving. And it is so refreshing. Yes, people get hurt, but you keep on going. That is what life is about. It is not to keep yourself in a jail cell so you keep off all the people that “could” or “might” hurt you. I mean keeping everyone at an arm’s distance, does that really make you happy. Having physical interchanges with others, is that really fulfilling? Personally, it isn’t for me. And personally, I don’t get it either and I have been living in this country for 19 years. But for now I am here, so I will have to put up with it.

 

A thought…

I promise I will write later this week…but for now I leave you with this quote…

“It is your work in life that is the ultimate seduction”
–Pablo Picasso

 

Discovering my Crackberry Addiction…

Well, I am guilty of it. I got a blackberry back in November and I have been addicted to it ever since. Today the BBC News published an article about the severity of the “crackberry” addiction. I honestly think is hilarious. But so true.

I sleep with my crackberry by my bedside. And I have noted that I do wake up several times to check it. I am constantly checking it. I’m on it all the time. But you know what the coolest thing that I discovered??? Not only do I get my messages, internet and email and it keeps my appointments and alarms in place. It tells me where to go when I need it. Yes, I installed Google maps on the thing and this past weekend in New York City it was a godsend. It locates where you are, you punch in where you want to go and it tells you how to get there. Voila! I was able to find my way around with no problem. Glorious!!! How I lived without it before I don’t know…but I love my new addiction…

PS. NYC I think is one of the worse crackberry offenders. Everywhere you turn people have them and they are always on them-on the train, at dinner, walking around wherever…they are always connected…

PSS. The blackberry messenger is the best thing ever too…

 

So, I got paid today. Niceeee…money in and immediately thereafter money out. I’m just the middle man…hahahaha…but I did notice one thing today. My student loan monthly balances were significantly lower. Niceeeeeeeee…these interest rate cuts have worked to my advantage. Not only am I still paying the same amounts, now I get to pay more of the principal and less interest.

In an article in the New York Times, they reported that yesterday both Ben Bernanke (Chairman of the Federal Reserve) and Henry M. Paulson (Treasury Secretary) scaled back in their optimistic forecast and stated that a recession is imminent when they appeared before congress. Now, not all is bad news. This means more interest rate cuts and supposedly that stimulus package which means you will get a check sometime in May 2008. Be wise. No Gucci purses anytime soon. (Shucks!!!) If you have a stable job, keep it for now, and save. Pay off your balances, since now you are paying more of your debt and less interest, and if you are lucky to have some extra cash, invest…cause properties are going to get even cheaper…

So, it’s not all bad. It is about creating an opportunity amidst the storm…

For now…I’m off to NYC yet again to hang out with Mers…Happy President’s Day to all…